Not Another Demon Boyfriend!
by DarkStarDrusilla
Summary: Oh, no! Phoebe has fallen for another one! Chris is present during this time but they do not know who he is. CHAPTER 7 IS UP! PLEASE R&R!
1. First Encounters

**A/n: hey guys! i realize some of you may have already read this fic and i apologize if you are reading it again and wasting your time but i had decided to change a few things so please don't get mad at me. special thanks to my henpecking perfectionist friend Shadow-Black-Panther(aka Amy), please don't kill me! **

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend!: Chapter 1: First Encounters**

_Piper POV_

"Good morning, everybody!" Piper chirped cheerfully.

"Well, you're in a good mood," Paige said rather surprised, Leo and Piper were having one of their little 'separation' times.

"Yeah, what gives?" Phoebe asked casually.

"Me and Leo are back together," Piper replied as she began cooking an unnecessary big breakfast.

"Thank God," Paige muttered as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, what was that, honey?" Piper shot her a questioning look.

"Oh, nothing........" Paige lied quickly.

"Good," Piper wasn't about to let Paige ruin one of her rare good moods.

"Well, I'm off to work," Phoebe remarked as she grabbed her laptop and coat.

"But aren't you going to eat breakfast?" Piper whined.

"Sorry, but I have to get to work early or Elise'll have not only a cow, but a hornet's nest, a horse, a pig, and a bird," Phoebe gave her a pleading look.

"Alright," Piper gave up as she put her hands on her hips.

"Thank you so much," Phoebe hugged her sister hurriedly, before running out the door.

Piper closed her eyes and waited, silently counting to five. Phoebe poked her head into the door and gave her an embarrassed smile, "Whoops! I forgot my keys......."

"Yeah," Piper nodded her head slowly, before handing her stressed out sister her car keys. "Take my car....."

"Thank you, Piper!" Phoebe exclaimed, before rushing out the door again.

"Don't you dare crash it!" Piper shouted after her. She shook her head. "So........what about you? Don't you want pancakes? I just made them........nice and fresh........"

"Sorry, Piper, I have to go too. We're getting a big shipment of kids today so I have to get there early and make sure none of them get into the copier room or a whole lot of people will find photocopied butts in their in trays........"

"Fine," Piper sighed as Paige grabbed her keys and left.

"Leo!" she shouted.

Leo orbed in, "What's the trouble? Where's the danger? What's the question?"

"Sit down," she ordered.

"Okay......" Leo silently asked her what was going on.

"Eat," she said in that tone again as she plopped a stack of pancakes, some sausages, a bagel, and a cup of coffee in front of him. Suddenly there was an unearthly jingle.

"That's the Elders, I have to go," Leo got up from the table.

"But what about your breakfast?" Piper protested.

Leo picked up the bagel and ate while he hurriedly drank his coffee, "There I ate, now I have to go," he orbed out.

"Okay........Chris!" she called.

Chris orbed in, "What?"

"Sit," Piper commanded.

"What?" Chris had a confused look on his face.

"Sit, Sit, Sit," Piper ushered him to the seat Leo had vacated.

"Why-?" Chris was still uncertain about why Piper had called him.

"Eat," she answered his questions as she got him a glass of juice.

"But-" Chris protested.

"Eat your breakfast," Piper tried to persuade him.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes as he gulped down his juice. "There I ate," he orbed out.

"Wyett, sweetie, do you want any pancakes?" she bent down and smiled at her son.

Wyett orbed out.

"Wyett! Get your butt back here!" Piper shouted.

Wyett orbed back in reluctantly.

"That's it! I'm not cooking for you people anymore! I'm done! Fineto! Finished!" Piper exploded as she stormed out of the kitchen in frustration.

_Phoebe POV_

Phoebe walked into the newsroom and weaved her way through the usual crowd to her office.

"Phoebe! Get your butt in high gear! I need that column by tonight!" Elise's gruff voice yelled at her from her doorway.

"Yes, Elise!" Phoebe plastered a fake smile on her face. She turned, still smiling, and walked into her office. As soon as she closed the door, she dropped her act and breathed a sigh of relief. She looked around her office grimly. It was like any other office: haphazard, drab, with no uniqueness what so ever. She sighed again, making a mental note to get an interior decorator in here.

She walked slowly over to her desk and plopped down on her swivel chair and got to work. It was going to be a long day.

Flash forward a few hours

Phoebe sighed happily. It had been a pretty good day so far and she was almost finished with her column. She leaned back on her swivel chair and studied the outer newsroom, watching people come and go. Strangely, her attention was drawn to a man in a black coat and hat that covered his features. "Uh-oh, demon alert," she muttered under her breath. "Of course, they show up just when I'm in a good mood."

She was about to call Leo when suddenly the man whoever he was made a fireball and threw it at one of the nicest women you could ever meet. Phoebe had only spoken to her a couple of times and she had seemed caring about so many people and living things. Phoebe jumped up, and in doing so flipped the chair, she quickly got up off the floor and ran out of her office to the woman's aide. She kicked the demon in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him. "Sorry, buddy, but the office is closed, however office hours start at 3:00 pm to 7:00 am every weekday, Monday to Friday, Saturday and Sunday we are open all hours of the day and night," she quipped as she sneered down at it.

He gave her a look of pure poison before flaming out.

Phoebe turned around and saw that the woman had ducked, and was safe and sound.

Phoebe sighed, "Just another day at the office."

_Paige POV_

Paige slammed her car door closed and briskly walked into Social Services.

"Are they here yet?" Paige asked her friend, Diane.

"No, not yet, thank God," Diane looked to the sky, "I love kids, I really do. I'm a social worker for God sakes! But I swear if I have to see one more photocopied butt in my in tray after a shipment of those little demons have left I'm going to snap!" she whirled her arms around in mock insanity.

"Don't worry, I'm not that far behind you," Paige muttered under her breath.

"Anyway, I'll talk to you later, Diane. I think I will go and get some work done before the little devils arrive," Paige walked over to her desk and started to go through the papers for the kids she'd be working with that day.

Flash forward 5 hours

"God! I never thought kids could have so much energy and so tiny attention spans!" Paige sighed as she leaned back in her chair.

"I hear you," Diane replied rolling her eyes in disbelief, "I don't think Speedy Gonzalez could keep up with those kids."

Paige laughed, but stopped abruptly when a strange figure hovered close to the door, eyeing her menacingly. Its face was hidden by a long cloak. Suddenly it made a fireball and aimed it right at Paige. She froze. What could she do? She couldn't use her magic in front of Diane and all of Social Services. Just as she was about to get up and leave so she could fight the demon in the alley, it threw the fireball at her. She quickly put her hand under her desk and whispered," Fireball," and threw it at the door, so it would look like someone planted a firecracker on the door in an angry rage. While all the other social workers jumped to their feet to investigate the sudden explosion, Paige looked around for the man, but he was gone. "Damn it!" she muttered.

_Piper POV_

After having to throw out breakfast, Piper was pissed. God forbid they eat my food once in awhile. She let out a frustrated sigh. It was no use. Why bother? She went and grabbed Phoebe's keys off their hook and picked Wyett up from his playpen. It was time for work. She walked out to Phoebe's car and placed Wyett in back in a car seat. She slid into the front seat and put the key into the ignition and revved up the engine. She pulled out and drove to Wyett's daycare and dropped him off. She then drove to P3, her successful club. She was getting a hot new pop star, Avril Lavigne, to sing tonight and she look promising. It was a shame that Avril's people couldn't fix up the club to their liking and save her the trouble. She sighed. Oh, well, I guess you can't get everything in life. She parked the car and slammed her car door closed. She walked purposefully toward the club, her heels clicking on the pavement.

"Hey, Joe," she called to her bartender as she walked through the door. "What's on our TO-DO list?"

"Well...Avril complaining about her room.....we need to fix the lighting..... The drink supplies need to be re-stocked...... we need to replace a few circuits from our last artist performance...." Piper winced remembering the episode, mental note never have Slipknot perform at club ever again, "we have to fix up the club for tonight's performance....."

"Wait, what?" Piper shot him a quizzical look. "Who the hell said that?"

"Avril's agent. Apparently no fixer upper, no Avril," he shrugged.

"This is ridiculous!" Piper shrieked. "No way am I giving some pop star special treatment!"

"I'm only telling you what he said," Joe shrugged.

"I can't believe this! I've had better singers here without one iota of a problem!" Piper was furious.

"Calm down, boss! Maybe we can have some kind of compromise!" he shouted trying to get her to relax.

"Fine," Piper shook her head wearily, "Sorry, Joe, it's not your fault."

"That's okay, boss. You seem uptight. Rough morning?" Joe asked sympathetically.

"You could say that," Piper replied. "Alright, let's get 'Avril' in a good mood or the club won't have a singer tonight."

Flash Forward 3 hours

Finally, Avril and her agent were satisfied. It only took a threat or two that Piper would give a bad review to a few other clubs. Piper sighed. It had been a long day. She sipped her latte casually, savoring the taste. She had never needed it so bad. Running the club and being a Charmed One? Talk about stress.

She looked up to see a man, all in black with a hat on, standing in the doorway.

"Excuse me sir?" she called to him as she got up and left the bar. "We're closed now, but we open at 7:00 PM."

He ignored her completely and made a fireball and threw it at her.

Piper immediately blew it up. She looked around quickly to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily they were all in back. She looked at the demon and raised her eyebrow, "Let me guess.....demon?"

Its answer was another fireball, which Piper promptly blew up so it couldn't mess up any of the 'Avril' requirements. She was about to blow the demon up, when it suddenly flamed out.

"Oh, great! Life isn't hard enough without a new demon in the mix!" Piper exclaimed dramatically.

**A/n: i just want to apolgize again to any of you who have read my other stories, i am fully aware that i haven't updated in a long time and must ask that you forgive me for it. i, like so many others, have been sent to the prison ward that poloticians call "School" and as a result of homework load and many other things i have barely found the time to sleep let alone write! so please please don't riot! i also must ask those of you who have read and written Charmed fic longer than i to please forgive me for i know not what i do.**


	2. The Demon

**A/N: hey guys! hope you enjoy! and, Amy, LOL! it was funny you have to admit! and i recomend that you read her stories but be warned they are nowhere near the funny that is me! they're mostly tragic and have to do with Chris so don't forget to check it out! her penname is : Shadow-Black-Panther**

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend!: Chapter 2: The Demon**

_Piper POV_

"Um, boss?" Joe asked uncertainly as he came up behind the rambling Piper. "You all right?"

"Uh, yeah," Piper quickly tried to reassure him. "Fine. Long day, that's all. I think I'm going to go home."

"Okay, boss. I just want you to know....I'm here for you."

"I know," Piper replied stress creeping into her body, "And I really appreciate it, but I have to go." She grabbed her purse and coat and strode towards the door.

"Be careful, boss," Joe called after her. "And think about a vacation?"

Piper waved his suggestion aside and walked out the door.

She got to the car and quickly pulled out of the club's parking lot. After about 20 minutes on the highway, Piper was furious. Damn traffic, she mused. Its ironic, I went to the club pissed, spent my time there pissed, and left pissed. Maybe I do need a vacation. She then drove home without incident. She hurriedly parked Phoebe's car and strode to her front door.

"Okay! What the hell is wrong with this world that we can't go one day without any demonic activity?" she thought aloud. She walked toward the stairs to go get the Book of Shadows.

"Oh! I didn't know you guys were home," she remarked taken aback by the fact that Paige, Phoebe, Leo and Chris were in the living room having a meeting of some sort.

"Yeah, well, we got out early," Paige replied hesitantly.

"Oh, good then you can help me. We got another demon on our hands that needs vanquishing," Piper began walking toward the stairs again.

"Actually, that's what we were discussing," Leo told her calmly.

"Oh, so, I'm not the only with demons in the workplace?" Piper quipped casually as she walked towards the living room to join them.

"Yeah, unfortunately, no," Paige replied. "I almost blew up Social Services when I orbed the fireball it threw at me towards the door."

"0o0, not good," Piper stared at the floor.

"Yeah, well, I had to beat up the demon in front of Elise and the entire newsroom. Thank God it didn't hurt that woman!" Phoebe put in her two cents worth.

"0o0, that's bad," Piper remarked wincing.

"Yeah, hence the meeting," Leo replied.

"Piper, what happened at your job?" Chris asked quickly before they got off the subject.

"Nothing too bad, thank God. It just attacked me, but as far as I can tell everyone was in back," Piper answered him.

"Well, that's not so bad," Paige remarked.

"Yeah, except something tells me Joe saw me," Piper replied.

"0o0, risk of exposure: very bad," Paige winced as she looked at the floor uncomfortably.

"My point exactly," Piper said pointedly.

"We'll have to deal with that later. Right now, I think we should check the book," Leo interrupted the conversation.

"Leo's right. Now we kick demon ass, later we worry," Phoebe chimed in.

They all hurried up to the attic. Piper and Paige, however, got there first and started flipping through the faded pages.

"I wish we knew what the demon looked like, it would make this a whole lot easier. I mean we don't even know anything specific or unique, except that it's an upper level demon," Paige sighed as she scanned the pages.

"Well, I'm going to go and check with the Elders, maybe they know something," Leo orbed out.

Suddenly, immediately after Leo orbed out, the demon flamed in. Its back was to the sisters as it threw a fireball at Chris. Chris orbed quickly to avoid being scorched. The demon muttered a curse before flaming out.

"Paige! I saw his face! I know what he looks like!" he exclaimed. "Let me look through the book."

"Sure, knock yourself out," Paige shrugged her shoulders, doubting his words.

Chris hurriedly flipped through the book until he found what he was looking for, "Here it is!" he shouted in victory. He quickly read aloud, "'The Azuli demon is a very ancient upper level demon. All those fair who look upon his face are instantly under his influence.' Whatever that means. Oh, there's a vanquishing potion."

"Okay, now that we know what we're dealing with, Paige, you start on the potion. Phoebe, you get a summoning and a vanquishing spell ready. I'll go down to police headquarters and see if Daryl has any unsolved cases lately that might lead us to the demon," Piper took charge.

"I'm on it," Paige took the book and marched downstairs.

"Yes, ma'am," Phoebe saluted Piper and turned to follow Paige.

"What about me?" Chris called after Piper as she began walking downstairs.

"Oh, well, help Paige with the potion and.....stay out of trouble?" Piper replied.

"Like I don't?" Chris shot her a shocked look.

"You know what I mean," she waved his feelings aside as she walked out the door.

"It's as if she knows," Chris muttered at her retreating back.

_Paige POV_

"Alright, let's make a potion," Paige said in a business-like manner, as she set up her cauldron neatly.

"What do you want me to do?" Chris leaned against the kitchen doorway.

"You can read the instructions," Paige plopped the heavy book into Chris's arms.

"Fine," Chris groused. "Let's see.....1 pint of chicken blood.... 3 eyes of newts..... 1 set of snake fangs.... 5 porcupine quills..... 7 lavender roots...... 1 bat wing.... 8 spider legs...... a dash of paprika...... and 1 bundle of sage. Here's the instructions, add the pint of chicken blood over a fire or 375' F if using electric stove... after 3 counts of 3 add the eyes of newts.... crush the snake fangs and add them together... pound the porcupine quills to a fine powder before adding..... neatly chop the lavender roots into a dozen pieces each and add them slowly in the span of 3 minutes.... add the bat wing and stir counter-clockwise 1 time..... twist the legs into 4 sticks add two by two.... add the paprika and stir clockwise three times.... divide the sage into two separate bundles and after adding stir in figure 8 pattern for 10 minutes, if done correctly potion should be dark purple," Chris slowly read from the book, while Paige made the potion.

"Well, it looks purply so I guess it won't blow up in our faces," Paige remarked as she filled three vials with the dark concoction. "Okay, since we're done, let's go and see if Phoebe needs help."

_Phoebe POV_

Let's see.... banish from space and time... what rhymes with time? I wonder if this would work?

_Hear these words, hear our rhyme_

_As we banish you from space and time_

No.... how about vanquish instead of banish? That might work.

_Hear these words, hear our rhyme,_

_As we vanquish you from space and time_

I think that will work. Now what about that summoning spell? I know!

_Demon, I call to thee_

_Come to me_

_Blessed be_

_Come by the power of three_

Wow! It didn't take me 50 tries! My muse must be having a good day. Suddenly, Paige and Chris walked in.

"You need any help?" Paige asked casually while Chris leaned against the doorframe with a sullen look on his face.

"No, actually I'm spellified, you?" Phoebe replied.

"No, we're good," Paige told her since Chris didn't seem to be in a talking mood.

"Well, I guess, it's time for a lunch break considering we haven't eaten since our not-breakfast," Phoebe suggested.

"I like the way you think," Paige led the way to the kitchen.

_Piper POV_

Piper burst through the doors of the San Francisco P.D. She quickly strode toward Daryl's office.

"Piper?" he exclaimed in shock as she barged into his office.

"Hey, Daryl, I wanted to know if anything....unusual.... has been happening lately," she asked casually as she closed his door for privacy.

"Oh, no, nothing at all," he said sarcastically. "Besides the fact, that a demon attacked me today in the main room while I was comforting a witness to a murder. I mean what's more comforting than a demon aiming a fireball at you!"

"Daryl! Calm down! Please, calmly and rationally, tell me what happened," Piper consoled him.

"Demon flamed in, risked exposure, caused thousands of dollars in damage, almost got me fired literally, demon flamed out. Is that clear enough for you?" Daryl said sarcastically through gritted teeth.

"Actually, yeah," Piper tried to get off the subject. "So... anything else in police work unusual lately?"

"No, now will you please leave my office before a fungus demon comes in and turns everyone into toads," Daryl fumed.

"Actually, Daryl, fungus demons don't...." Piper started to correct his error but abruptly stopped when she saw the look on Daryl's face. He definitely wasn't in for a demonology lesson.

"Anyway..... You said the demon attacked you? I wonder why..." Piper looked at him curiously.

"I don't know, I don't care, I just wish I had never learned about you girls," Daryl sighed heavily.

"Daryl, I ......" Piper began.

"Out, just get out, out of my sight, out of my office, out of my mind, out of my life," Daryl interrupted her.

Piper walked toward the door, "Daryl, I'm sorry we involved you with our lives, I promise we wouldn't bother you again unless we really mess up and get arrested." She started to leave his office.

"I'm sorry, Piper. I shouldn't have said that," Daryl apologized. "It's just stressful and complicated when I have to protect and keep my job," he sighed wearily.

"It's okay, Daryl, I understand. And when all this is over, I think a vacation is in order for all of us," Piper replied, truly understanding him.

**A/N: hey guys, just a heads up, if i don't immediately update the day after of a posting, don't freak out because i will probably be a victum of the ever popular among teachers(evil) torment: Homework! i sympathize with the rest of my fellow writers who fall victum to the evil torture that is school! i will never forget!**


	3. The Trance

**A/N: i know i haven't updated in a long while, but give me a break, okay? **

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend! : Chapter 3: The Trance**

_Piper POV_

"Okay, everybody, are we ready to kick some demon ass?" Piper asked as they all gathered in the conservatory.

"Yep," Phoebe got out the two pieces of paper with the spells on them.

"Let's get this over with, so we go back to a 'normal' life," Paige sighed.

"Spell?" Piper asked expectantly.

"Check," Phoebe answered as she walked toward her two sisters. As soon as they were ready, they all said the spell.

"Demon, I call to thee, come to me, blessed be, come, by the power of three," they chanted in unison.

Suddenly, the demon flamed in, "What the....?"

"Vanquishing spell," Piper shouted.

"Hear these words, hear our rhyme, as we vanquish you from space and time," they chanted again.

Suddenly threw back his hood, revealing his face.

"Throw the potion!" Leo yelled as he dodged a fireball.

"No way...." Phoebe shook her head slowly.

"Oh, wow...." Paige's mouth hung agape.

"Leo, I'm leaving you now," Piper told him, her eyes never leaving the demon. "I'm going to elope with this demon, and there's no way in hell you're going to stop me," as she began to fight her way through her sisters, while Chris and Leo try to hold them back.

"Let me go, goddamn it!" Piper tried to break free.

"Piper! Mom! I don't want to be part demon! I like orbing I really do!" Chris pulled at her frantically.

Piper just tried to freeze him, however he ducked, and she froze Leo instead, "Damn! I was aiming for the annoying one!"

"Well, let me try," Paige orbed chains around Chris's body, leaving him immobile on the floor.

"Listen, you don't want to do this!" Chris protested.

"Paige! You forgot to gag him!" Phoebe whined.

"I always forget that," Paige mused, as she orbed a gag into Chris's jabbering mouth. "Much better," she dusted her hands as she sighed, satisfied with her work.

"Well, it's been fun, ladies, but I have got things to do, people to kill. Ta ta for now!" the demon flamed out.

"Whoa, what happened? I feel dizzy," Piper blinked as she swayed unsteadily on her feet.

"I don't know, but my head is pounding," Phoebe held her head painfully.

"My hands won't stop shaking," Paige shrieked.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow! No screaming!" Phoebe complained.

"Where the hell are Leo and Chris?" Piper complained as she stumbled for a wall to lean on. Suddenly a pounding came from behind the wicker lounge chair.

"What is that?" Phoebe asked. "'Cause it's not helping."

They cautiously approached the source of the noise.

"Chris? What the hell are you doing down there?" Piper asked incredulously. "Who did this to you? 'Cause I have a sudden urge to kick some ass."

"Looks like you guys started the party without us," Paige remarked.

After they removed the gag, Chris gasped, "You did!"

"Oh... well.....never mind then," Piper said slowly, embarrassed. "Wait a minute... we weren't scheduled to bind and gag you till Friday, to kick off the weekend."

"Yeah, and I was really looking forward to that," Paige looked disappointed.

"Man! Now this'll just cheapen the experience!" Phoebe moaned.

"Guys!" Chris rolled his eyes.

"Okay! Who went ahead of schedule?" Piper inquired teasingly.

"Actually, if you want to be specific, it was Paige," Chris told her.

"What?" Paige shot him a look of pure confusion.

"Yeah, and I would tell you more but I'm losing the feeling in my limbs, so if you don't mind? Hint, hint," Chris sent a not-so-subtle message.

"Okay, okay, quit your moaning and groaning," Piper bent down to help him up after Paige had orbed the chains to the floor. "Happy now?"

"No, actually..." Chris started.

"Where's Leo?" Piper interrupted.

"Under the chaise lounge," Chris answered simply.

"_Where_?" Piper shot him a quizzical look.

"Under the chaise lounge," Chris repeated.

"How the hell did he get down there?" Piper demanded.

"Well, you froze him and he landed on the floor, and with all the commotion he kinda got kicked under there," Chris explained.

"Well, it figures. We were going to do that Saturday night," Paige shrugged.

"Damn it," Phoebe joked, as Piper unfroze their former whitelighter.

"What happened? Where's the demon? Did you vanquish it?" Leo rambled.

"Well...not exactly," Piper replied slowly.

"'Not exactly'? What's that supposed to mean?" Leo asked, as he shot Piper a questioning look.

"She means there are some good news and some bad news," Paige told him.

"Well, what's the good news?" Leo asked quickly.

"The good news is that the demon escaped," Paige smiled uncomfortably.

"Then what's the bad news?" Leo asked expectantly.

"Oh, wait that _was _the bad news," Paige replied, screwing up her face in confusion.

"Then what's the good news?" Leo exploded.

"The good news is that everyone is alive and accounted for," Phoebe smiled nervously, coming to her sister's aid.

"Oh, great! Now what are we going to do?" Leo shouted angrily, deeply disgusted with what had happened.

"I don't know, but whatever we're doing it'd better be soon. I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one rather not relive today's little episode," Chris remarked pointedly.

"Well, if you hadn't bypassed the little warning label in the book we wouldn't have had this happen," Paige pointed out.

"Oh, so, now everything's my fault, is it?" Chris shouted furiously.

"As a matter of fact...." Paige rounded on Chris.

"People! People! Back to your corners! Right now I think it would be wise to get the book and try to find some sort of shield from this trance thing our new evil friend can do, otherwise we could be in a whole lot of trouble," Piper shouted over their bickering.

"Piper's right. It's time to check the book," Leo said wisely.

"Paige, do you think you could....?" Piper sent her sister silent signals.

"Of course," Paige replied as she orbed the book into her arms. "There we go."

"How about a spell?" Phoebe suggested.

"That might work, that might actually work," Chris chimed in.

"Oh, oh, I got one," Paige exclaimed. "'Save us from his charming trance, with the use of these fire ants!'"

"What? Are you actually serious?" Chris gave her a doubting look.

Paige started to pout, "Well, sorry...."

"Okay, how about 'we are taking a chance, so save us from his terrible trance'?" Piper suggested.

"That might work, that might actually work..... to get us all killed!" Chris yelled.

"Hey!" Piper exclaimed. "I'd like to see you do better!"

"Hey, hey, I'm the whitelighter, you're the witch, and what I say goes," Chris yelled angrily back at her.

"Why, I oughta..." Piper began to walk toward him menacingly as Leo struggled to hold her back while Chris danced mockingly beyond her reach. "Alright, alright, I'm calm, I'm calm." She held her hands up as if she were backing off and turned to walk away. Everyone relaxed until she made an about face and attempted to get at her mocking adversary.

"Okay, people, break it up, break it up," Phoebe stepped in between the two arguing brunettes, blocking them from each other.

"Listen to Phoebe, Piper. Relax.... Breathe....," Leo tried to console her.

"I will, if he will," Piper glared at Chris furiously.

"Okay, are we all calm now? 'Cause even though I'm not all empathy here, I can still sense a whole lot of anger, stress, tension, and accusation," Phoebe asked, looking at each of them individually.

"I'm good," Paige raised her hand.

"Me too," Piper crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, clearly reluctant.

"Always have been," Leo volunteered.

"And what about you?" Phoebe rounded on Chris.

"What about me?" Chris asked, in mock indignation.

"Are you calm?" Phoebe repeated.

"What? Are you writing a book?" Chris asked sarcastically.

Phoebe glared at him furiously.

"Fine, if you really want to know... yes! Yes, I'm calm!" Chris burst out, clearly pissed off.

"Good, now that we have stopped biting each other's heads off, I have a spell thought," Phoebe took charge, completely ignoring Chris. "'Protect us from his evil stare, let us avoid his charming glare, let us not fall under his spells, protect us Halliwells'."

"Okay, we got our spell," Paige put her hands on her hips, "without any whitelighter input, I might add."

"Hey!" Chris jerked his head up, suddenly alert. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, dumbass, that your whitelight ass wasn't needed," Piper said snidely. "So go away till we actually need you."

Chris growled furiously as he orbed out.

"Well, now that the thorn has left our side, I say we get some candles together in a triquadra form around us so we can perform the spell," Paige quipped as she orbed the Book of Shadows back to the attic in its rightful place on the pedestal. She then orbed some candles into the living room.

"Ten-four on that one," Piper joked.

"Let's kick some pretty boy demon ass," Phoebe gave her sisters a wry smile.

They all looked at her questioningly.

"No, I'm not talking about Cole, you dunderheads! I'm talking about the _new_ pretty boy demon!" Phoebe glared at her sisters. "We vanquished my ex-husband already, several times I might add, and this time I made sure he was dead!"

A look of understanding crossed all their faces.

"Anyway let's get cracking," Phoebe straightened her shoulders as she strode into the living room for the spell.

The sisters sat around a single candle in a triquadra formation with candles around them in a circle. They began to chant the spell, "Protect us from his evil stare, let us avoid his charming glare, let us not fall under his spells, protect us Halliwells."

Suddenly something blue glowed in front of each of their faces and covered them completely, like a force field.

"Well, I guess it worked," Piper looked at her blue shield uncertainly. She tentatively poked it with her finger.

**A/N: check back soon i promise i'll try to get this in between all my homework not to mention the social wars!**


	4. The Vortex

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend!: Chapter 4: The Vortex**

_Piper POV_

"Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to have some fun," Phoebe stood up confidently.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and protect Wyatt," Leo orbed out.

"Okay, here we go," Paige sighed.

They began to repeat the summoning spell, "Demon, I call to thee, Come to me, Blessed be, Come by the power of three"

Once again demon flamed in, "What? You guys again?" He flipped his hood back again to reveal his face.

Last time, they had been too busy gawking at him to really see him. He was perfect. If he wasn't demon, Paige and Piper would have definitely wanted to date him. To Phoebe, it didn't matter.

He was a hunk, if anything. He had a perfectly sculpted face with a scarred eyebrow, which most of the time ruins face but in his case it only seemed to make more perfect, and piercing blue eyes. His peroxide blonde curls were slicked back perfectly. His skin was alabaster, and even though he was lean, he definitely had some hard muscles under his skin tight black shirt. He was wearing leather pants and boots with a floor-length duster. He was most definitely a bad boy.

"Now I see why I couldn't talk even if I wanted to," Phoebe mumbled.

"Oh yeah," Piper remarked.

"Understandable," Paige shrugged.

"Okay, not that this little chat ain't fun and all, but is there a bloody point as to why the hell you called, luv?" he purred in a rich British accent at Phoebe.

Before Phoebe could answer, Piper stepped between the two troublemakers, "As a matter of fact, we have yet to be introduced; we like to know who we vanquish."

"Alright, let's start with this bird," he jerked his head at Phoebe.

"NO, how about you first," Piper countered the question on him.

"You're rather touchy, aren't you?" he remarked.

Piper glared, "Watch it buddy."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "If you must know, my name is Spike."

"Ooo, cool name! What do you drive?" Phoebe butted in.

"A motorcycle. A Harley, if you want to be specific," Spike answered.

"Cool!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Phoebe, honey, could we talk to you a sec?" Piper was getting rather annoyed.

"But..." Phoebe protested.

"NOW," Piper glared at her sister.

Phoebe walked away reluctantly. "What?" she asked as soon as she had reached her sisters. "Can we make this quick? I want to talk to Spike...."

"That's exactly what," Piper crossed her arms. "You're flirting with a demon. The exact demon, I might add, we are supposed to vanquish!"

"But...." Phoebe pouted.

"I thought the shield thingy was supposed to protect her from this problem," Paige was confused.

"It is, this is just her and there has yet to be a potion or spell for that," Piper explained.

"Hey!" Phoebe exclaimed defensively. "What about you and Leo?"

"See, honey, the difference is.... Leo is an Elder, not a demon," Piper said bluntly.

"Well......what about Paige and the vampire?" Phoebe scrambled for a legitimate excuse.

"Hey, hello, trancey thingy?" Paige reminded her.

"You know what? CHRIS!" Piper yelled.

"Oh, so now you need me," Chris said sarcastically as he orbed in.

"Shut up and tell Phoebe that she is grounded from having a demon boyfriend for forever," Piper snapped.

"Wait, what?" Chris looked confused.

Paige pointed to their couch, where Spike was lounging casually acting like he came by all the time.

"Okay, why isn't he vanquished again?" Chris asked as he eyed the punkish looking demon disapprovingly.

"'Cause Phoebe's too busy flirting to throw a potion," Paige replied.

"Hey!" Phoebe glared at her sister.

"Well you are," Paige pointed out.

"What's going on?" Leo asked as he orbed in.

"Demon: not vanquished, Phoebe: making goo-goo eyes at said demon, and Chris: no help whatsoever," Paige counted off on her fingers.

"Hey!" Chris looked offended.

"Well you aren't," Paige defended herself.

While they were arguing, Spike smirked. Time for some fun. He muttered a chant under his breath, "In your heart and in your mind, that is where you will find, your kind."

Suddenly a black vortex appeared and sucked everyone into it.........including Spike.

All Piper remembered was flames and blood and all sorts of horrific things before her world went black.


	5. Prue, Wyatt, Forest, Future, and Cole

**A/N: please read & review! i'd like to know if anybody is actually reading this story and if not i'll remove it.**

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend!: Chapter 5: Prue, Wyatt, Forest, Future, and Cole**

_Piper POV_

Piper awoke to find herself in a grey and white clearing. The clouds overhead were white and seemed to move unnaturally fast. There were many flowers, but they also were a dull grey and white.

"Okay..... Where the hell am I?" Piper looked around uncertainly.

"You are in your mind and heart," said a familiar voice.

"Prue?" Piper looked unbelievingly at her dead sister.

"Hey, honey," Prue smiled.

"What are you doing here? And all enlighten-y?" Piper took in her sister's flowing white robe and the white flowers in her hair. She was barefoot with what looked like drops of rain strung into an anklet, a necklace, and a bracelet. Her usually pale skin was glowing like the sun.

"Well, it comes with gig," Prue shrugged.

"Oh, okay," Piper was extremely happy that she could finally talk to her sister.

"And to answer what I'm doing here, I have no idea whatsoever. One minute I'm in the clouds sleeping, next thing I know I'm here," Prue shrugged again.

"So, any idea on how to get out of here?" Piper asked casually.

"Once again, none whatsoever," Prue replied.

"Okay," Piper drew out the word slowly as she analyzed the situation.

_Leo POV_

Leo awoke in a dark cave lit by torches, "Where am I?"

"I see that you're awake now, sleepyhead," a voice sneered from the shadows.

"Who's there?" Leo asked warily, on full alert.

"Why, I'm surprised at you! Forgetting your own son! On second thought, not so much," Wyatt smirked as he walked into the torch light.

"My own son?" Leo asked, rather bewildered. "Wait, you can't be- you're not- Wyatt?"

"Bingo, we have a winner," Wyatt sneered at his father.

"How did you get like this?" Leo asked, panic stricken.

"You failed me..... You failed us all..... You let them turn me...... you're worthless....... You were never there for me......" Wyatt threw a fireball after every phrase.

"No! How could I?" Leo gasped after he had avoided all of Wyatt's attempts.

"You did.... You were too busy being 'enlightened' and 'superior' to spend time with your family....... Your wonderful wife...... your sons....." Wyatt continued to angrily throw fireballs.

Leo was too upset and confused to notice the plural in 'sons'. "No! I didn't fail you!" he gasped desperately.

"Oh, yes you did," Wyatt said furiously as he made another fireball.

_Paige POV_

Paige wandered around the dark seemingly never-ending forest. She stumbled on an upraised tree root and fell forward, facedown. She began to wonder how she had gotten there in the first place as her world went black.

_Chris POV_

Chris woke to the sound of police sirens and gun shots. Wait a minute, he thought to himself, rather panicked. He shot straight up into a sitting position. He quickly surveyed the room he was in. It was a drab, dirty apartment in what looked like the worst possible neighborhood. "Oh, no," Chris said slowly. "I'm home."

_Phoebe POV_

Phoebe looked around at the field she had been lying face down in. There were flames and blood everywhere on the dead grass and flowers. It was raining blood with dark storm clouds overhead. "Where am I?" she asked, rather wary of her surroundings.

"Hello, Phoebe," Brad, her boyfriend from high school, appeared in front of her.

"Brad?" Phoebe squinted unbelievingly at one of her many ex-boyfriends.

He smiled warmly and immediately faded away.

"Brad?!" she called after him. But it was no use, he was gone.

Suddenly another voice called, "Behind you, Phoebe."

She whipped around to see Dave, another old flame, "What's going on? How did you get there?"

He didn't answer, and then he too suddenly faded away.

"Oh, Phoebe," a very familiar voice whispered in her ear, a voice she only knew all too well. "Remember me?"

She turned around to find herself face to face with her dead ex-husband, "Cole?"

"So, you do remember. I miss you, Phoebe. Remember all the good times we had?" he advanced closer, if that was even possible.

"Yeah, sure we had some good times, but Cole the one thing you never understood: we had more bad times than good. You, on various occasions, had me deceive my family. You did many horrible psychotic things to get me back. You lied to me and tried to hurt my family more times than a demon got it in his head he could defeat us, and considering my status as a Charmed One that is a lot. You, at first, were a demon which, by the way, had me a little shaky on the best person to date meter. Than you become the Source of All Evil and turn me, not only evil and almost a full fledged demon, but into the Queen of the Underworld! Then I'm forced to vanquish you and you go to demon hell, you somehow survive and become even more powerful than when you were the Source plus you get another shot at the job! That was what ended our marriage not that I had dumped you" Phoebe pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I didn't love you," he said before fading away as well.

"Well, this is rather interesting," a cool voice remarked behind her.

Phoebe jumped and whipped around to find herself looking into the icy blue eyes of the demon.

"That was Balthazar, wasn't it?" he asked smoothly. "Well, now I see why he betrayed us all, and, in my opinion, it's a pretty good reason."

"Why did you bring me here?" Phoebe demanded.

"Hey, I just said the spell, I have nothing to do with how this place looks and what happens in it," Spike shrugged.

"Then who does?" Phoebe asked angrily.

"You. This is what your heart and mind look like. It is pure turmoil," he explained.

"Well, how do we get out of here?" Phoebe looked around for some way of escape.

"You have to overcome your issues," the demon replied. "How, I do not know."


	6. This can't be easy,can it?

**A/N: here ya go! please R&R!**

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend!: Chapter 6: This can't be easy, can it?**

_Piper POV_

"So, Prue, how've you been?" Piper was sitting on the grey grass.

"Dead, flying, the usual stuff," Prue was sitting across from her.

"So, how's Mom and Grams?" Piper asked curiously.

"Good, also dead and flying, but good," Prue replied.

"That's good," Piper nodded her head slowly.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Okay, now that we're all caught up, how about we figure out why the hell I'm here," Piper remarked in a business-like tone.

"Well, let's think for a second. Why is this world gray? Maybe it has something to do with how you feel," Prue suggested.

"What? That's the stupidest idea I ever heard!" Piper exclaimed. "No offense, Prue, I know you've been out of the game for awhile now, but how messed up is that?"

_Leo POV_

"Wyatt!" Leo yelled. "Don't do this!"

"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" Wyatt shouted angrily as he heaved another fireball at the Elder. "Dear old Dad, do you know what you do us? Do you even care?"

"Wyatt, talk to me!" Leo pleaded.

"No, you never talked to me, why should I talk to you?" Wyatt replied as he threw another fireball.

_Paige POV_

Paige had been wandering for what felt like hours. She began to shout "Hello? Can anybody hear me? Hello?"

No one answered her cries. "Great, just perfect," Paige mumbled.

Suddenly something rustled in the bushes ahead of her.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Paige asked uncertainly.

The bushes continued to rustle, as if in answer.

"Uh-oh, this can't be good," Paige remarked uncomfortably.

_Chris POV_

Chris had been walking all over the grimy city, muttering, "How could I have failed? How could this have happened? How did Wyatt turn evil?"

He often had to dodge fireballs and bullets of the all too common drive-bys, for Wyatt had made them legal. Motorcyclists and tough looking gangs, demonic and human, were everywhere, leering at him.

"This is all my fault," he blamed himself. "I failed everyone."

_Phoebe POV_

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" Phoebe asked casually, trying to make conversation.

"Well, as I said before I like to ride my Harley, to me punk-rock is the way to go, play my guitar, and to tell you the truth I'm a godawful poet," Spike looked at the ground as they walked around the endless field.

Phoebe laughed, he seemed so humble about his poetry, "I doubt it."

"What?" Spike looked bewildered.

"That you're a godawful poet," Phoebe explained.

"You say that now, but if you ever really saw it...." He left his sentence unfinished. "So, what about you?"

"Well, I'm an advice columnist for the San Fransico Bay Mirror, I love cats, I have always loved punk-rock and motorcycles. God! You should have seen me in high school! I used to steal cars.....made out with anyone, which by the way earned me the nickname 'Freebe'..... I was pretty wild," Phoebe replied.

"I'll bet," Spike smirked, imagining her on a Harley.

"Well, that must have been the twentieth time we passed that bloody fire bush," Spike jammed his hands in his pockets.

"Are you sure? They all look the same to me," Phoebe looked around frantically.

"Now that you mention it, I'm not quite sure either," Spike surveyed his surroundings carefully. "I guess I was wrong."

**A/N: i'll try to post more soon!**


	7. Worlds Crumble

**A/N: sorry for the long wait, but... well... i've had other things on my mind lately...like a guy. anyway, geting out of my personal life, i hope you guys can forgive me and i hope you like the chapter! please R&R!**

**Not Another Demon Boyfriend: Chapter 7: Worlds Crumble**

_Piper POV_

"Prue, I have a confession to make," Piper began. "Lately I've really missed you and I feel like I have to be as good an older sister as you were. I feel like I'm supposed to have all the answers to everything and if something goes wrong it's all my fault."

"Oh, honey, no one expects that from you. They want you to be as good as you can be. You don't have to be perfectly like me, you just have to be perfectly you," Prue hugged her sister warmly. Immediately lights came from the sky and carried Prue back to paradise.

Next thing Piper knew, she was in a dark cave, "What the hell am I doing here?"

"Piper?" Leo looked confused.

"Leo, where am I?" Piper asked again.

"Mother, good to see you," Wyatt greeted her.

"Leo, who's this?" Piper asked uncertainly.

"Wyatt, please don't hurt her," Leo ignored her question as he pleaded with his son.

"Wyatt?" Piper looked confused then surprised. "Your greatest thought is Wyatt turning evil and you failing him?"

Leo slowly nodded.

"Ok…" Piper drew out the word in that agitated tone of hers.

"Piper! Look out!" Leo shouted as Wyatt threw a fireball at her.

Piper quickly ducked as it scorched the cave wall behind her.

Leo was furious, "How dare you try to hurt your mother!" His eyes were flashing with anger, "Your mother, goddamn it!" His eyes had ignited into a fiery rage. "I may have deserved this, but she has done nothing wrong!"

Wyatt began to back up hesitantly as Leo advanced toward him, "But, Dad, I-"

"Don't you even think you're not in trouble!" Leo gritted his teeth. Suddenly, it got even darker in the cave.

"What's going on?" Wyatt looked around, panicked, his strength and tough exterior gone.

Leo made no reply, unless shooting electricity from your fingertips is a reply. His aim was perfect, and Wyatt soon became the one groveling on the ground. Immediately the cave dissolved and they found themselves in a dark forest.

"Help!" a familiar voice screamed.

"Paige!" Piper ran off toward the voice.

"Piper!" Leo called after her as he tried to catch up.

When Piper reached Paige, she found her sister was being attacked by a large wolf, a giant, a goblin, and a mountain troll. "Holy Crap!" she exclaimed in astonishment. Leo came up behind her and gaped at the monsters as well.

"That's what I said," Paige replied as she dodged the troll's club and orbed out of the attacking wolf's way.

"Hold on, everybody freeze for a second," Piper moved her hands. "I didn't mean literally! Oh, well, it'll have to do." She then blew up the wolf and the goblin. "Two down, two to go," she mused. Suddenly the troll and the giant unfroze. "Crap!"

"You got that right,": Paige had to avoid another swipe of the troll's club which she then orbed into her hands, "Let's see how you like it." She heaved the club and hit the side of the ugly creature's head. Piper immediately blew up the enormous troll.

Paige then began playing baseball with the giant's head, "Take this… and that… and…"

"Uh, Paige?" Piper cautiously asked.

"What?" Paige asked, annoyed with the interruption.

"I think its enough of a bloody pulp now that I can blow it up," Piper replied slowly.

"Oh," Paige dropped the club, as Piper blew up the last of their enemies. Again, they were moved into another world.

"Okay, this is making me dizzy," Piper grabbed her head.

"Where are we?" Paige looked around uncertainly.

"Good question," Piper remarked when her dizziness had subsided.

They looked at what looked worse than the scummiest, most violent neighborhood in Detroit. They then heard a familiar voice repeating over and over again, "It's all my fault… I failed… I failed everyone…"

"Chris?" Piper slowly walked toward the voice. She found him huddled in a ball by a couple of dumpsters in a rather dirty alley. She asked as she knelt beside him, "Chris?"

"Mom?" Chris's eyes were glazed over. He then seemed to forget she was there and began chanting, "There's no hell like home, there's no hell like home…"

"Is this the future you were warning us about?" Paige looked around curiously.

"Chris?" Leo subtlely asked for confirmation.

Chris slowly came to his senses and nodded.

"Wow, grimey," Paige winced at all the dirt.

Suddenly, Chris shouted, "Duck and cover!" He threw himself to the ground as fifty bullets hit the wall where his head had been.

"Holy crap!" Piper jumped up off the ground and was about to blow up the hoodlums if Leo and Paige hadn't restrained her. "Let go of me! I want to teach those thugs a lesson!"

"Piper, calm down, breathe…" Paige said slowly trying to calm her.

"Okay, okay, I'm good, I'm good," she backed off, and they let her go. She turned to walk away, but immediately turned around and strode toward them purposefully.

"Ooo, watcha gonna do? Bore us to death?" the thugs snickered.

"That's it!" she quickly blew up the leader. The others' faces became whiter than Paige. "Anybody else want some?"

They all turned and ran with their tails in between their legs.

"Wait a minute!" Piper looked puzzled.

"What are they?" Paige shot an inquisitive glance after them.

"I honestly don't know," Leo shook his head.

"Howler demons," Chris came up behind them. "Wolf demons. They live in packs and have the ability to turn into humans. They were probably poking fun."

"Firing machine guns is poking fun?" Piper looked at Chris like he had grown an extra head.

"In this time, you're lucky if that's all that's shot at you," Chris explained.

"Well, why were we able to see their tails?" Paige asked confused.

"My guess is that Piper literally scared the pants off them," Chris shrugged.

"Well, I try," Piper tossed her hair over shoulder.

"We'd better get moving. Those demons will report to Wyatt and trust me you don't want to see him mad," Chris told them.

"Actually, me and Leo already met and vanquished him in Leo's world," Piper replied.

"Trust me, this Wyatt is even more powerful than that one," Chris warned.

"And, judging by the way this place looks, it isn't for the better," Paige remarked.


End file.
